Unable to attract even a single girl, frustrated man sues Axe

In what could prove to be a major marketing and legal embarrassment for Hindustan Unilever Limited (HUL), a 26-year-old man has filed a case against the FMCG company, which owns the Axe brand of men grooming products, for ‘cheating’ and causing him ‘mental suffering’. The plaintiff has cited his failure to attract any girl at all even though he’s been using Axe products for over seven years now. Axe advertisements suggest that the products help men in instantly attracting women.

Vaibhav Bedi, the petitioner, also surrendered all his used, unused and half-used deodorant sprays, perfume sticks and roll-ons, anti-perspirants, aftershaves, body washes, shampoos, and hair gels to the court, and demanded a laboratory test of the products and narcotics test of the brand managers of Axe. Vaibhav was pushed to take this step when his bai (maid) beat him with a broom when he tried to impress her by appearing naked in front of her after applying all the Axe products. 


No girl ever asked Vaibhav to call her

“Where the fuck is the Axe effect? I’ve been waiting for it for over seven years. Right from my college to now in my office, no girl ever agreed to even go out for a tea or coffee with me, even though I’m sure they could smell my perfumes, deodorants and aftershaves. I always applied them in abundance to make sure the girls get turned on as they show in the television. Finally I thought I’d try to impress my lonely bai who had an ugly fight with her husband and was living alone for over a year. Axe effect my foot!” Vaibhav expressed his unhappiness.

Vaibhav claims that he had been using all the Axe products as per the company’s instructions even since he first bought them. He argued that if he couldn’t experience the Axe effect despite using the products as directed, either the company was making false claims or selling fake products.

“I had always stored them in cool and dry place, and kept them away from direct light or heat. I’d always use a ruler before applying the spray and make sure that the distance between the nozzle and my armpit was at least 15 centimeters. I’d do everything they told. I even beat up my 5-year-old nephew for coming near my closet, as they had instructed it to keep away from children’s reach. And yet, all I get is a broom beating from my ugly bai.” Vaibhav expressed his frustration.

Vaibhav claims that he had to do go a lot of mental suffering and public humiliation due to the lack of Axe effect and wants HUL to compensate him for this agony. An advocate in Karkardooma court, who happened to mistake Vaibhav for some deodorant vendor when he entered the court premises with all the bottles, has now offered to take up his case in the court. HUL has been served a legal notice in this regard.

HUL has officially declined to comment on the case citing the subject to be sub judice, but our sources inform that the company was worried over the possible outcomes of the case. The company might argue that Vaibhav was hopelessly unattractive and unintelligent and didn’t possess the bare minimum requirements for the Axe effect to take place. Officially HUL has not issued any statement, but legal experts believe that HUL could have tough time convincing the court.

“HUL might be tempted to take that line of argument, but it is very risky. There is no data to substantiate the supposition that unattractive and unintelligent men don’t attract women. In fact some of the best looking women have been known to marry and date absolutely ghoulish guys. I’d suggest that the company settles this issue out of court.” noted lawyer Ram Jhoothmalani said.

Bajaj Pulsar - the fastest Indian

The ad setting - the Charles Sobhraj like unconventional looks of the protagonist and the cool-as-cucumber bad boy attitude robbing a bank and makes the escape as soon as the police arrive.

Where it connects? The Indian man- shy and yet dreaming to do a daring feat. The attitude has been "Catch me if you can". He does not hide or live in shame for robbing a bank and to make matters even likeable is  the sense of charm which he dispels at the counter girl. Its gives the "macho" feel to the "not so macho guy". He is tempting and inviting.

How different is it from the earlier versions? 

There is a major shift in the positioning of this brand Pulsar 220. The same daring attitude has been reflected but with a lot of finesse and dignity. Its more a Bond Style bad boy image and the international look given to the ad makes it more convincing. Its not stunts any-more but raw power. Power of being fast.

However, in some sense it has still been the usual Pulsar ad - "Its definitely male" and the carefree attitude of the lighter versions is still promised.

Overall, the brand appeal has been more focussed to concentrate on the target segment and creating a strong brand. I think at this point, the connect has been and the numbers must be watched to see the real outcome.

In the path of revenge - Naxalism: A problem or solution?

1967, Naxalbari, a small village in West Bengal, saw a massive violent uprising by the peasants against the landlords in protest against the huge lands that landlords had in their disposition.


Who provided the inspiration for such a revolution?  Charu Mazumdar and Kanu Sanyal.

Let us retrospect what happened in China. Mao's socio-political policies had resulted in the damage to the cultural, social and economical prosperity of the nation.

What has been a failure in one country is likely may not be a failure in another. But it may be also. In such a scenario, the ideologies itself are in question and at the very least the educated few should have had the rationale to understand the implications of their action.

The point is that the Naxal revolution whose ideologies are embedded in the "Historic Eight Documents" by Charu, (who was deeply influenced by Mao and advocated Mao's Principles) does not have a solid foundation to preach the cause.


Also, today when it is followed, with passage of time, the principles must be cultured and followed in the spirit of the author and not by the diktat of the presenter.


In contrast, what has happened is that the movement became an example and now a terror. There are instances of mass murder and brutality and without some kind of corrective action will spiral to create rifts and internal disturbances within the country.


Few things need to be clear.


Will Naxal movement indeed benefit anyone within India? What are the implications of such a movement? Does democracy support this? Is Democracy enough to counter this?


According to me - the answer is NO.


The movement which was similar to a Robin Hood expedition has now taken the form of a more terrorist organization, striking the innocent to get a bargaining opportunity for themselves. To control this, a degree of autocracy and power needs to exercised. Democracy may as well not be able to present a solution.


The maximum and possibly the only action that democracy can win in this situation is to communicate.  Make people realize that militancy and fighting in ambush is not the solution but a problem in itself. Naxalism in true practice is not about killing and murder but about reform.